"God's strategic delay is for your greater good!"
Rick and I had heard this comment somewhere many years ago (I couldn't even begin to tell you who said it to us), but it's stuck with us all this time. This thought came to me again when Rick called me to say we did not get that home we wanted. (The umpteenth one...) It was as if God was saying, "Juuuuust trrrruuuuussst meeee!!" Even when we don't understand what He's doing, He still desires our complete trust. I was just struggling to continue giving it to Him.
But God is faithful! Right at the time that Rick was going to have no place to sleep, he found favor with his company and they offered him another month of corporate housing because they had originally told him we'd be living in Oklahoma, so he'd spent much of his original days of corporate housing looking for homes in Oklahoma before they settled on his final work location remaining in Texas. So they offered him housing until the end of January. What a blessing that was!!
Still it's been a challenge to not be discouraged at times. After being out-bid on another home, Rick and his realtor went in search of more homes to drive by. After several days of running from one side of town to the other looking at places, he found one that he REALLY liked. He sent me a text saying "Babe, I think you're going to fall in love with this home!" Knowing that if we put an offer on the table for a house, I'd likely not even get to see it until it was ours, I began to panic just a little on the inside. It's smaller than our last home, and yet our family will be expanding! How are we going to make it work? What if we've been apart so long, he can't remember what little things are important to me, like the window over my kitchen sink, or that I prefer a real laundry room, not a laundry closet? What if I really DON'T like it when we arrive? Panic... yeah, it's just another result of distrust. (Oh the doubts I should not have doubted!!) And on Rick's end, he was fearing I wouldn't like this particular home he kept coming back to day after day. After Rick told me this, God reminded me that my husband DOES know my heart's desires (we've only known each other for 23 years after all!), that my husband has trusted ME to pick out two other homes for our family by myself in the past and never once complained or been negative about them, and that if I'd just ask Him, He could cause me to fall in love with this home as much as any other home I could have chosen myself. It was a gentle swat on the rear! So I did just that. I began to pray that God would cause me to fall in love with this home and see it as a peaceful refuge, not as a "best he could find" house. I have yet to actually see it in person, but the longer I starred at those pictures online day after day, the more I have begun to fall in love with this home! So on January 8th, I told Rick I was "good" with putting in a written offer on the home. So he met the realtor at the house once again, and they prayed together over the house and our offer on it. And then they submitted our offer. He received a call from his realtor just a few hours later saying the buyers had verbally accepted our offer and would sign the papers in the morning.
But God is faithful! Right at the time that Rick was going to have no place to sleep, he found favor with his company and they offered him another month of corporate housing because they had originally told him we'd be living in Oklahoma, so he'd spent much of his original days of corporate housing looking for homes in Oklahoma before they settled on his final work location remaining in Texas. So they offered him housing until the end of January. What a blessing that was!!
Still it's been a challenge to not be discouraged at times. After being out-bid on another home, Rick and his realtor went in search of more homes to drive by. After several days of running from one side of town to the other looking at places, he found one that he REALLY liked. He sent me a text saying "Babe, I think you're going to fall in love with this home!" Knowing that if we put an offer on the table for a house, I'd likely not even get to see it until it was ours, I began to panic just a little on the inside. It's smaller than our last home, and yet our family will be expanding! How are we going to make it work? What if we've been apart so long, he can't remember what little things are important to me, like the window over my kitchen sink, or that I prefer a real laundry room, not a laundry closet? What if I really DON'T like it when we arrive? Panic... yeah, it's just another result of distrust. (Oh the doubts I should not have doubted!!) And on Rick's end, he was fearing I wouldn't like this particular home he kept coming back to day after day. After Rick told me this, God reminded me that my husband DOES know my heart's desires (we've only known each other for 23 years after all!), that my husband has trusted ME to pick out two other homes for our family by myself in the past and never once complained or been negative about them, and that if I'd just ask Him, He could cause me to fall in love with this home as much as any other home I could have chosen myself. It was a gentle swat on the rear! So I did just that. I began to pray that God would cause me to fall in love with this home and see it as a peaceful refuge, not as a "best he could find" house. I have yet to actually see it in person, but the longer I starred at those pictures online day after day, the more I have begun to fall in love with this home! So on January 8th, I told Rick I was "good" with putting in a written offer on the home. So he met the realtor at the house once again, and they prayed together over the house and our offer on it. And then they submitted our offer. He received a call from his realtor just a few hours later saying the buyers had verbally accepted our offer and would sign the papers in the morning.
Our celebration time was cut short first thing in the morning when she received another call from their agent apologizing that the sellers had received an even higher offer overnight (ours was already above their asking price), and they were going to accept that offer instead. Frankly, I was mad! Mad about losing a house I originally thought I wouldn't like! Mad that things were looking like we were going to be back to square one AGAIN!! Mad that things seemed to be crumbling around us. We prayed about the house together on the phone. And we took a deep breath, and put in another offer for just a small bit higher than our first offer. And we decided that if they accepted it, we would move forward on it. But if they didn't, that was going to be our final offer, and we were going to look elsewhere. I did not sleep well that night! I just wanted this part of the adventure to be over with! I wanted a place to call home. And I wanted to get on with our adoption process.
Since we arrived in Oklahoma over a month ago, the children and I have been "squatting" (Rick calls it "Glamping", short for "Glamour Camping") in a borrowed very tiny 2 bedroom, 1 bath home without basic furnishings or any of the normal comforts of home. For those readers who are familiar with my childhood home in the hills of West Virginia, you need no further description of the home we've been staying in, only that we at least have running water in our current place and we're in town, instead of an hour from civilization. Although we're extremely grateful for the use of this little dwelling, without the joys of being able to visit with Rick's extended family while we're here, the past month would've been a really rough character development project to find the good in the day to day waiting. There have been days of frustration with waking up sore from a restless night of trying to sleep on the cold, hard floors to not being able to work in the kitchen as usual, such as the time we finished prepping grilled cheese sandwiches, only to realize I had no skillet to cook them in! Many mornings in the last month, I've pulled the blanket tighter around myself, shivering and thinking about how orphans must feel. Cold. Hungry. Displaced. Lonely. Forgotten. Incomplete. Homeless. No place to call home. Minimal things to call their own. Missing out on the comforts of a real home. Wondering if today might just be the day they find out they will have a home to go to soon. I could relate. And it made me really want to get on with life and get to our girls as soon as possible. I wanted a home for them to call their own, as much as I wanted that for myself too.
Further discouragement came when we were told that our storage unit fees were going to be almost as much as what we were paying each month for our last home. And again a few days later when we were hit with the news that they were wrong about that... our storage facility fees were not going to be what we were first quoted, but nearly THREE times what we'd been quoted!! We simply could not afford that, even without trying to buy a home! We prayed for favor with Rick's company, asking God to move on the hearts of those with the golden stamp. We prayed that in the same way they'd extended Rick's company housing, they'd also extend their coverage of our storage facility fees. (They originally said they'd only pay for one month.)
Then we get the call that the sellers of this home Rick loved had accepted our second offer, and they would have it in writing shortly. Then we would have 24 hrs after that to sign the papers as well to put the home under an official contract. More panic. How are we going to get several thousands of dollars together for our down payment on the house, pay for two more months of storage fees while we wait for closing, and still feed our family in the meantime? We started to second guess our decision to purchase this home, even though we knew alternate options were simply out of the question. More forgetfulness on our part about faithfulness on God's part.
God is so creative in His reminders though. I flipped on the radio out of boredom, and found a local Christian radio station that came in somewhat fuzzy but clear enough to tolerate. I don't even know what program was being aired when I flipped it on, but God knew exactly what we needed to hear. I couldn't get it written down fast enough to quote him word-for-word, but the preacher basically said, "Don't spend time taking counsel from your fears when doing what God has called you to. Reverence allows you to go forth in faith, but fear only allows you to look back in paralysis." I sent Rick a text as quick as I could with what I'd just heard to share that with him (he was at work at the time so I couldn't call). He signed the papers to proceed with the purchase, and plunked the first required check down on the table. Oh so exciting!! We're going to be homeowners again!! We finally have an address to share with family and friends!! What a sigh of relief!
Then another glitch a few days later. The mortgage lender needed actual documentation as to the date of our foreclosure several years ago, because if it was less than 5 yrs ago, they were reluctant to approve our home loan. A heaviness set upon my heart as I informed Rick that all the documentation related that particular home had been sent with the movers to the storage facility. Without a home, they wouldn't deliver our stuff. Without our stuff, we may not be able to buy a home. This was not looking so good. The original lender on that mortgage had gone out of business. Where else might we be able to track down this information? I was at a loss for where to begin. I prayed that God would show us if there was any other way to get this documentation we needed. As I got up from praying, I thought about a box I'd brought with us of various documentation I knew we'd likely need for our adoption of Aliza and Olivia, including past years of tax returns. I grabbed that box and practically ripped it open with the joyful expectation of a child on Christmas morning opening a gift they hope is the one they really wanted, but still not certain if they'll really get it. After an hour or so of flipping through tax paperwork, I found nothing that I thought would help. With a heavy sigh and a tear of discouragement welling up in my eye, I tossed the stack of tax folders on my blanket. One of them slid off the pile, and as it did, a loose sheet of paper began to slip out. I picked the folder up, opened it to the spot where the paper was loose, and began to tuck it back in again. In the corner of the paper under it, I spotted the words "Acquisition or Abandonment of Secured Property", and thought to myself, "What's this paper for?" As I scanned it over, I realized it had the address of the home that was foreclosed on. I looked for a date. Just guess what the date was!!! EXACTLY FIVE YEARS AGO... TO THE DATE!!! As I snapped a photo of it to send to Rick, I realized something... had our offer on any home we wanted been accepted sooner than it finally was, we most likely would not have been approved. And we would have been back to square one.
Then another glitch a few days later. The mortgage lender needed actual documentation as to the date of our foreclosure several years ago, because if it was less than 5 yrs ago, they were reluctant to approve our home loan. A heaviness set upon my heart as I informed Rick that all the documentation related that particular home had been sent with the movers to the storage facility. Without a home, they wouldn't deliver our stuff. Without our stuff, we may not be able to buy a home. This was not looking so good. The original lender on that mortgage had gone out of business. Where else might we be able to track down this information? I was at a loss for where to begin. I prayed that God would show us if there was any other way to get this documentation we needed. As I got up from praying, I thought about a box I'd brought with us of various documentation I knew we'd likely need for our adoption of Aliza and Olivia, including past years of tax returns. I grabbed that box and practically ripped it open with the joyful expectation of a child on Christmas morning opening a gift they hope is the one they really wanted, but still not certain if they'll really get it. After an hour or so of flipping through tax paperwork, I found nothing that I thought would help. With a heavy sigh and a tear of discouragement welling up in my eye, I tossed the stack of tax folders on my blanket. One of them slid off the pile, and as it did, a loose sheet of paper began to slip out. I picked the folder up, opened it to the spot where the paper was loose, and began to tuck it back in again. In the corner of the paper under it, I spotted the words "Acquisition or Abandonment of Secured Property", and thought to myself, "What's this paper for?" As I scanned it over, I realized it had the address of the home that was foreclosed on. I looked for a date. Just guess what the date was!!! EXACTLY FIVE YEARS AGO... TO THE DATE!!! As I snapped a photo of it to send to Rick, I realized something... had our offer on any home we wanted been accepted sooner than it finally was, we most likely would not have been approved. And we would have been back to square one.
"God's strategic delay is for your greater good!"
Later that day, I received a text message from Rick saying that his company had approved an extension on them paying for our storage fees because it was due to their change of assignment location that Rick had less than two weeks to find and secure housing for us in Texas (instead of Oklahoma) before we moved out of our home in Idaho. And they weren't just offering to pay our storage fees for an additional month, but all the way until the absolute latest date that we could possibly go to closing on our new home (so two additional months)!!!
"God's strategic delay is for your greater good!"
We needed this good news. At the time, the children and I were well into a long stretch of passing a strange illness from person to person, keeping us home-bound for days without any anticipated end in sight. (It's no fun to have a child ask for a puke bucket, only to realize the best thing you have available at the moment for them to puke in is the empty kitty litter bag headed for the alley trash!) With so little to do while being cooped up, our children begged me to let them unpack their schoolwork, even though we'd intended to take a break from it during the trip! We finally went on a "scavenger hunt" at the first thrift store we could find in town, and bought up a stack of books, a nearly new DVD player, a short stack of used DVDs, and some very mix-matched basic kitchen supplies and bedding. During our "quarantine" time, we browsed the phone book for a few places in town we could go to for "field trips" once children were on the mend again. That has helped with the cabin fever too! But having that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel knowing we have a home to go to soon was such joyful news to us!! Despite a few more days of prolonged illnesses and quarantine, there was a sense of excitement in the air again.
And then the biggest plunge on this roller coaster ride so far hit our family very unexpectedly...
You know what I'm talking about...
That plunge that you already know could possibly be part of any roller coaster ride...
The big one that sneaks up on you after several smaller dips and turns are already behind you...
The one you think you are big enough to handle without grabbing for the safety bars...
That plunge where your stomach detaches itself from where God created it to be and you just feel like you're going to throw up your lunch on everyone...
And your heart pounds faster than it should...
And you begin to scream for someone to stop the ride NOW because you just want off...
And you ask yourself why you ever got on this ride in the first place...
And you swear to yourself that you'll never ride this roller coaster again...
Even though you know you don't really mean it...
I know you're gonna be upset at me for this but... you'll have to stay tuned in a few days to hear the next part of the story. I'm on a borrowed computer, and I need to let the computer's owner get her family to bed, and I really should get our children back "home" to bed for the night too. I hope to return to our update in a few days (but I know it won't be able to be tomorrow). Sorry!
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~ Michelle
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