"Our" Boys Were Adopted

It's been a bit of a "rollercoaster" week around here the past few days. We recently found out that the boys we hoped to adopt, those brothers with the beautiful blue eyes, have found a family of their own. In fact, of the eight children we first saw on the photolisting, seven of them have found families, leaving just "our" daughter, with the cookie crumb on her lip still waiting for her family to come ransom her. For that reason alone, I am thrilled. Because they each have a home. They have family, parents who surely fell in love with them as much as we did. And our prayer was answered... they do not have to stay in their orphanage a single day more. On the flip side, it feels a small bit like another miscarriage. We have 5 biological babies in heaven, waiting for us to join them. So I know that familiar sadness in knowing I'll never hold in my arms the precious little ones we'd come to love, although we'd never laid eyes on them or touched their tender cheeks. But through it all, we know that God's plan is perfect. If His plan wasn't perfect, He wouldn't be trustworthy. But He is. He's proven Himself sufficiently. And though my heart broke the day we learned "our" boys had officially become another mommy's boys, He knew that the other family who is now tucking them into bed at night is a more perfect family for them than we would have been. And I can rest confidently in that, because God's love is good, and His plan is perfect. Like a good Father, God knows what children are best for our family, and which children WE need most in our family, even if we do not yet know who they are. He knows how to plan ahead, so we trust that even in this very moment, He is preparing our children for us, and us for them. And although I want every orphan to have a million mommies out there to fall in love with each of them, in reality, a small selfish part of me wants no one else to fall in love with "our" children, whoever and wherever they are, so we don't go through this again. But I also know that likely when the papers are finalized for our future adoptions, somewhere else, some other mommy's heart is going to break when she hears that "her" children have found a home with us. Lord, I pray for mercy and grace for her on that day. I pray for peace for her hurting heart, and an overwhelming confidence in your perfect plan for her and her family. May her heart not break as much as mine did last week. I choose to continue to trust in YOU fully.


~ Michelle